#E38 How to Reclaim Self-Love and Confidence After a Painful Breakup

In this episode of "Secrets in the Powder Room," hosted by Louise Bryant, we delve into the transformative journey of self-love, especially following a breakup or in the aftermath of a difficult relationship.

Louise, a professional certified coach and trauma-informed domestic abuse specialist, explores how to reclaim your self-worth and rebuild trust in yourself. She highlights the importance of intuitive movement as a means to reconnect with your body and emphasises setting boundaries as a crucial act of self-respect.

Louise also provides practical tips for nurturing self-compassion, such as gentle movement, prioritising rest, and celebrating small victories. Plus, she offers reflective journaling prompts to guide you on your healing journey.

Join us as we learn how to prioritise self-love and create a fulfilling life, with or without a partner.

Released February 20th 2025

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Our Host 🫶🏻

Louise Bryant is a professional certified coach, intuitive eating counsellor, and a trauma-informed domestic abuse specialist as well as survivor.

Through her platform, "Secrets in the Powder Room," Louise fosters open conversations about the often-hidden struggles women face, including social anxiety and trauma.

Her expertise, drawn from personal and professional experiences, aims to guide others in healing through alternative therapies, body kindness and intuitive eating.

Passionate about breaking the silence around women's issues, Louise provides free, simple tips and profound insights to ease anxiety and promote well-being.

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Newsletter 📧

Discover Self-Love After a Breakup - New Episode Alert!

Hello Lovely Listeners,

Hope you're doing well. We have a brand-new episode of "Secrets in the Powder Room" just for you, and it's all about self-love and healing after a breakup.

🎙 Introduction: In today's episode, I'm diving deep into the concept of self-love, especially after challenging times like separation, divorce, or leaving an unhealthy relationship. We're talking about reclaiming your worth and trust in yourself and rediscovering joy through intuitive movement and setting boundaries.

🔑 5 Keys You'll Learn:

1. The importance of self-love and why it starts with you.

2. How intuitive movement can help you reconnect with your body.

3. The power of setting boundaries as an act of self-love.

4. Practical ways to show yourself the love and care you deserve.

5. Rewriting the story of what makes you feel worthy, with or without a partner.

😊 Fun Fact from the Episode: Did you know that simply dancing in your kitchen can be a powerful way to feel alive and reclaim joy? It's not about the exercise—it’s about feeling good in your body!

🎧 Outro: Remember, love isn't something you have to seek from others. It's within you. You are already worthy as you are right now. You deserve love, respect, and a life full of joy.

👉 Call to Action: If this episode resonates with you, please subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave us a review. It helps others start their own healing journey too. Don't forget to check out the links in the show notes for free resources and reach out if you're interested in one-to-one coaching or our free group programmes.

Until next time, take care of yourself and remember, real love starts with you.

Warm regards,

Louise Bryant

P.S. Don't forget to download my free "Reclaiming Your Body Visualisation Meditation" from the show notes! It's a nurturing way to reconnect with yourself. 🌷

Blog 🚨

Rediscovering Self-Love: Healing After a Breakup

Embrace Movement, Set Boundaries, and Practice Self-Compassion on Your Journey to Inner Peace

Introduction: Embracing the Journey to Self-Love

Breaking up from a relationship, especially a challenging one, can leave an individual questioning their self-worth, diminishing self-trust, and longing for validation from external sources. However, true love stems from within. In the episode "Self-Love: Moving and Healing After a Breakup" from the podcast Secrets In The Powder Room, Louise Bryant dives into reclaiming self-love after a breakup or divorce, exploring how to trust oneself again, harness the power of movement, and establish boundaries as a foundation for healing.

Rebuilding Trust in Yourself

After a breakup, it's common to doubt your decisions and question your ability to trust yourself, let alone trust another person. However, it's crucial to remember that feeling shattered doesn't mean you're broken. You do not need someone else to validate your worth. Self-love is not about waiting for someone else to make you feel good; it's about choosing to care for yourself, even when it's challenging. Rebuilding trust in yourself is an ongoing process that starts with small, intentional steps in nurturing your well-being.

The Power of Movement: Reclaiming Your Body

Louise Bryant emphasises the importance of movement, not as a means of punishment or transformation, but as an act of self-love. Breakups, especially those involving control or emotional drain, necessitate reclaiming your body through movement. Intuitive movement, such as dancing, walking in nature, or gentle stretching can reconnect you with your body and promote a sense of joy and vitality. This practice allows you to feel good in your skin, shifting the focus from external appearance to internal nourishment.

Setting Boundaries as an Act of Self-Love

Navigating post-breakup life might involve co-parenting challenges, family pressures, or a tendency to people-please. Recognising that boundaries are not selfish is vital. You are not responsible for ensuring the comfort of others at your own expense. Setting boundaries involves saying no to situations and interactions that drain you, thereby reinforcing self-respect and allowing space for self-care. By practising boundaries, you affirm your worth and prioritise your needs in a healthy, respectful manner.

Practising Daily Self-Compassion

Healing is not instantaneous; it's a gradual process that involves continuous practice of self-compassion. Speak to yourself with kindness and challenge any negative self-talk. Allow yourself the luxury of rest without guilt, and remind yourself that rest is essential for overall well-being. Engage in activities that make you feel good in your body, enhancing mental and physical well-being. Celebrate small victories as you progress, reinforcing the narrative that love and worthiness do not depend on being in a relationship.

Reflective Journaling: A Tool for Growth

To support your journey of self-love and healing, consider engaging in reflective journaling. Answer questions such as, "Where in your life do you need to set better boundaries?" or "What limiting beliefs about love and relationships are you ready to let go of?" This practice allows you to explore feelings, release limiting beliefs, and identify areas for growth, aiding in your emotional healing process.

Moving Forward: Support and Resources

As you navigate the complexities of breakups and healing, remember you are not alone. Seeking professional guidance or community support can be instrumental in this journey. Louise Bryant offers coaching services, group programmes, and resources designed to empower women to rebuild confidence and create fulfilling futures. Reaching out for support is a courageous step towards embracing self-love and healing.

Conclusion: Embracing Your Worth

The journey to self-love is deeply personal and transformative. Remember, real love begins with you. By embracing movement, setting boundaries, and practising self-compassion, you nurture the love you deserve, independent of any external relationship. As you embark on this path, reaffirm your intrinsic value, and know that you are already enough, exactly as you are.

Journaling Questions ✍🏻

Here are ten journaling questions inspired by the podcast episode "Valentines love yourself":

here are some journaling questions inspired by the podcast episode on self-love after a breakup:

1. Where in your life do you feel you need to set better boundaries?

   Reflect on areas where saying "no" could serve as an act of self-love.

2. What's one specific way you can show yourself love this week?

   Consider acts of kindness or activities that bring you joy.

3. What limiting beliefs about love and relationships are you ready to let go of?

   Think about how these beliefs may have been holding you back.

4. How can you move your body in a way that feels good and nourishing, rather than punitive? Identify physical activities that make you feel vibrant and connected to yourself.

5. When have you felt most disconnected from your body and self-worth, and how can you begin to rebuild that connection?

6. Reflect on a time when you turned to negative self-talk. How can you replace those thoughts with kindness and compassion?

7. In what ways do you struggle to put your needs first, and how can you begin to prioritise them more effectively?

These questions are intended to guide you in reflecting on self-love, personal growth and healing.

Transcript 📝

NOTE: This podcast was transcribed by editing tool, Please forgive any typos or errors

Hey. Today, we're continuing our theme of love, specifically learning to love yourself. Maybe you're wondering, will I ever feel loved again? Maybe you're battling self doubt, struggling to trust yourself, or feeling lost without a partner. Or perhaps you're in a new relationship but still carrying scars from the past. Maybe you're even questioning whether the love you're receiving now is truly what you deserve. But here's the thing, love doesn't start with somebody else, it starts with you. In today's episode, I'm talking about how to reclaim self love after separation, divorce, or an unhealthy relationship, and also we'll explore how to rebuild your trust in yourself after a painful breakup, why movement, not just exercise, but intuitive movement can help you reconnect with your body, how setting boundaries is an act of self love, whether you're co parenting, dating again, or simply learning to say no, practical ways to show yourself the love you deserve, even if you don't feel worthy of it yet. Let's dive in.

Louise Bryant00:01:01 - 00:01:52

Welcome to the secrets in the powder room, where we share stories and open up conversations about all the secrets women are forced to keep out of fear and shame. I'm Louise Bryant, professional certified coach, intuitive eating counselor, and trauma informed domestic abuse specialist and survivor. We're here to support you on your healing journey and help you feel like you're not alone. This is not to be a replacement of your own professional, medical, or legal advice. This podcast contains adult language and content. Listener discretion is advised. So when we've been through a difficult breakup, a toxic relationship, or emotional abuse, it's easy to question ourselves. Did we make the right choices? Can I trust myself again? Can I trust my judgment to trust someone else again? Your self trust might feel shattered, but here's what I want you to remember.

Louise Bryant00:01:52 - 00:02:31

You are not broken. You don't need someone else to validate your worth. Self love after a breakup isn't about waiting for someone else to make you feel good or waiting to feel good even. It's about choosing to care for yourself even when it feels hard. And one of the best ways to start is by getting back into your body. So many of us are taught that movement is about fixing our bodies, losing weight or looking a certain way. But after a breakup, especially if the relationship was controlling or emotionally draining, Movement can be a way to reclaim yourself and your body. And this isn't about forcing yourself to exercise.

Louise Bryant00:02:31 - 00:03:20

It's about reconnecting with your body in ways that make you feel really, really good. So dancing in your kitchen because it makes you feel alive, walking in nature to clear your mind, or even gentle stretching to release some tension. But also running, Zumba, Pilates, weight training also makes you feel alive, and that is amazing. Intuitive movement is also an act of self love, and it's saying, I deserve to feel good in my body no matter what it looks like. I don't need to punish myself. Movement is here to nourish me, not punish me. So I just wanna, like, invite you to just move your body a bit more, not for anyone else, but for you. And one of the hardest parts of dealing with healing after a breakup is learning to put your needs first.

Louise Bryant00:03:20 - 00:03:57

I invite you to move, not for anyone else but yourself. Find something that you really, really enjoy. Exercise doesn't have to be painful. It can be fun. And, you know, if you do are getting into the gym and you are able and you're feeling ready to do the fitness program, you will feel so much better for it after. You know, the the hardest step sometimes is just stepping into the gym, but I very, very rarely feel rubbish after I've done a workout. Don't get me wrong. It can be quite painful doing the workout, but if that's where you're at in your movement development, then go for it.

Louise Bryant00:03:57 - 00:04:40

One of the biggest things that I come up against when I'm working with women who have been through a breakup is learning how to put your needs first. Maybe you're co parenting with a difficult ex or maybe you're trying to work out all the family pressures. And to just move when you're still grieving can be really, really hard. But maybe you've started dating again and you find yourself people pleasing because it's what you've always done. This fits for you. So here's what I think you need to hear. Boundaries are not selfish. You are not responsible for making everyone else comfortable at your own expense.

Louise Bryant00:04:41 - 00:05:28

Saying no is an act of self love and some boundaries to consider as you heal. No to answering every text from your ex immediately. No to over explaining your breakup to people who don't support you, yes to taking time for yourself without guilt, yes to practicing peace even if it means disappointing others. Self love isn't just about a day at the spa and affirmation. Sometimes self love looks like standing up for yourself. So here are just some small ways to show yourself some love every day, and you might not wake up tomorrow and suddenly feel amazing. Healing is a process, but here's what you can do now. Talk to yourself with kindness.

Louise Bryant00:05:28 - 00:06:16

If you wouldn't say it to a friend, don't say it to yourself. And you are the only one that's listening to that. You're the only one that can hear that. So just make sure that inner voice that you're speaking to yourself with on a day to day basis, on a moment to moment basis, is pure kindness. And just notice that. If you do get into any negative self talk, just notice that and say, that's not very kind, and stop yourself from doing that. Give yourself permission to rest is also another one that I personally struggle with myself. You know, rest is such an important part for us to be able to look after our families, look after ourselves, look after our careers, do all the things that we need to do.

Louise Bryant00:06:16 - 00:07:12

And, you know, as women quite often we feel so much guilt around resting. I know for me, if I've sat during the day and wanted to finish something on the TV, I'm literally sitting on the edge of the sofa like I am not allowed to rest. So being able to give yourself permission to do that is really, really important. Try and do something that makes you feel good in your body, even if it's just stretching in bed, even, like I said before, going for a nice walk, doing some dancing, doing anything that makes you feel really good in your body. You wanna move all that energy around you. And if you go back to our podcast that we did last week with Christina, she'll explain about all the movement in your body and how that is so beneficial for your mental well-being, your physical well-being. And always celebrate any small wins that you have. So every time you put yourself first, you're rewriting the story.

Louise Bryant00:07:12 - 00:08:24

You don't need to be in a relationship to feel love. You are already worthy as you are right now. So I hope that was helpful, but here are some journaling questions that I wanna leave you with and some prompts to help you reflect on where you are and how you can support yourself with more self love and self compassion. So just have a think about where in your life do you need to set better boundaries? What's one way you can show yourself some love this week? What limiting beliefs about love and relationships are you ready to let go of? And how can you move your body in a way that feels good, not punishment? So just take a bit of time to explore these questions and you might be surprised what comes up. But if you're navigating a breakup, a divorce, or healing from an unhealthy relationship, you don't have to do it alone. I offer one to one coaching. I help women build confidence, set boundaries, and create a future that feels good again. I also run free group programs designed to help women process toxic relationship patterns and take the first steps towards their food and body freedom.

Louise Bryant00:08:25 - 00:09:07

And if you'd like to see if you're eligible, reach out to me through my website or Instagram. And as a free gift, I've created a self healing meditation, and you can also sign up for my free membership where you get a free self care course and access to my freebies. All links in show notes. So thank you for joining me, Louise Bryant, in this episode of Secrets in the Powder Room. You are an off. You deserve love and respect, and a life that makes you feel good, not just in a relationship, but with yourself. And if this episode resonates with you, please subscribe, share, leave a review. It helps others to find the show and start their own healing journey.

Louise Bryant00:09:07 - 00:09:12

Exclude

Until next time, take care of yourself, and remember, real love starts with you.