Listen as we explore the critical issue of domestic abuse during big sporting events.
Host Louise Bryant is joined by guest Sunita Anderson to shed light on the alarming trends.
As the Euro Cup finals recently occurred, emotions ran high, prompting an urgent discussion on this important topic.
They unveil the connections between sports, aggression and domestic abuse, providing insights and perspectives on this pressing issue.
Join us as we delve into the complexities of domestic abuse and its ties to big sporting events in a thought-provoking conversation.
Released July 16th 2024
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With experience, wisdom and a significant understanding in the area of domestic abuse, Sunita uses her years of coaching practice and Women’s Aid training to help both men and women globally, to begin living the life they deserve after leaving a harmful and controlling relationship. Specialising in coping mechanisms and a pathway of support, Sunita has guided those who have experienced domestic abuse, violence or toxic relationships to soar capably with new-found confidence.
Links
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Change starts here if you are a man or woman who has experienced abuse and now seek clarity, direction & transformation.
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Exploring the Link Between Big Sporting Events and Domestic Abuse With Sunita Anderson
Dear Secrets In The Powder Room Podcast Community,
In our latest podcast episode, "Domestic abuse and big sporting events," we delved into the alarming increase in domestic abuse during major sports events. Our host, Louise Bryant, sat down with guest Sunita Anderson to discuss the impact of big sporting events on domestic abuse trends.
During the episode, Louise and Sunita explored the insights and shed light on this critical issue, especially in light of the recent Euro Cup finals. Sunita provided valuable information on the rise in domestic abuse during such events and the reasons behind this troubling trend.
They discussed how aggression in sports settings can exacerbate dominating moods and lead to increased violence, affecting not only the athletes but also the viewers. Sunita highlighted specific sporting events, such as football and rugby tournaments, that have shown an increase in reported domestic abuse cases.
They also addressed the role of alcohol consumption during these events and how it can further escalate abusive behaviour.
If you want to learn more about this important topic and explore the powerful insights shared in the episode, be sure to tune in to our latest podcast. Together, let's shed light on this issue and support each other on the path to healing and awareness.
Thank you for being part of our podcast community, and we look forward to sharing more impactful conversations with you in the future.
Exploring the Alarming Trends and Triggers
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Introduction
The convergence of big sporting events and an increase in domestic abuse is a critical issue that demands attention. In a recent podcast episode, host Louise Bryant delved into a conversation with domestic abuse specialist Sunita Anderson to shine a light on this pressing matter. The Euro Cup finals served as a backdrop for an insightful discussion that highlighted the urgency of understanding the link between high-stakes sports events and the rise in domestic violence. In this blog post, we will explore the insights shared by Sunita Anderson, shedding light on the complex dynamics and triggers that contribute to the escalation of domestic abuse during big sporting events.
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Understanding Domestic Abuse and Violence
The conversation began by defining domestic abuse and violence. Sunita Anderson elucidated that it encompasses various forms of harm, including physical, sexual, and psychological aspects inflicted by a partner or ex-partner. The control and coercive behaviors, along with terms like gaslighting and stonewalling, paint a comprehensive picture of the complex and insidious nature of domestic abuse.
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The Rise in Domestic Abuse During Big Sporting Events
Sunita Anderson went on to highlight the connection between big sporting events and the surge in domestic abuse cases. She discussed how the aggressive and confrontational nature of sports settings can exacerbate male dominance and lead to violent behaviours. Furthermore, research has shown that team contact sports, with their promotion of bullish and hostile attitudes, contribute to an environment where aggression is normalized. This normalisation of aggressive behavior extends beyond the athletes to the audience, creating an atmosphere where irrational passions and team rivalries can ignite heightened emotions and volatility.
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Victims Beyond Gender: A Closer Look
Contrary to common perceptions, the conversation dived into the reality that domestic abuse during big sporting events doesn’t exclusively affect women. While women are often victimised in male-dominated sports environments, the broader impact includes men as victims and children who witness or experience trauma. Sunita Anderson emphasized the need to recognise the diverse spectrum of victims and the nuanced dynamics that play out beyond gender stereotypes.
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Sports Events and Specific Triggers
A key part of the discussion revolved around specific sports events known to trigger an increase in domestic abuse. The link between football tournaments, rugby events, and horseracing to heightened reported cases of domestic abuse was highlighted. Interestingly, the contrast in the impact of sports such as tennis and golf, as well as Formula 1 racing, illuminated the complexity of the triggers and their diverse manifestations across different sporting contexts.
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Alcohol Consumption and Emotional Connection with Sports
Unravelling the complex web of triggers, the podcast highlighted the role of alcohol consumption during sporting occasions. While alcohol can exacerbate pre-existing emotions and behaviours, it was underscored that it serves as a companion rather than the sole cause of the heightened domestic abuse. The emotional connection with the sport, coupled with the intensity of important games and team rivalries, creates a potent cocktail that can lead to heightened tensions and aggression.
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Gambling Bets and Additional Contributors
The conversation segued into the potential role of gambling bets on sporting events as a contributor to increased domestic abuse. While not the primary cause, the heightened stakes and emotions tied to gambling can compound the existing tension and volatility during big sporting events. This multifaceted interplay of factors underscores the need for a nuanced understanding of the triggers and contributors to domestic abuse during such occasions.
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Closing Thoughts
The podcast conversation with Sunita Anderson provided crucial insights into the intricate relationship between big sporting events and the rise in domestic abuse. By uncovering the multifaceted triggers and contributors, it shed light on the urgent need for greater awareness, support, and intervention to address this concerning trend. As we navigate the intersection of sports and societal issues, it becomes imperative to engage in open conversations, challenge assumptions, and work towards creating safer environments for all individuals, transcending the boundaries of gender and demographics.
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In conclusion, the unsettling reality of the surge in domestic abuse during big sporting events demands collective awareness and action. By expanding the dialogue and understanding the nuanced triggers, we can endeavour to create spaces where the passion for sports does not spill over into the perpetuation of violence within homes. The insights gleaned from the podcast conversation underscore the imperative of standing against abuse and championing a culture that seeks to foster safety and respect, on and off the field.
10 journaling prompting questions ✍🏻
Here are some journaling questions for listeners to reflect on their own experiences related to the content of the podcast episode:
1. Have you ever experienced heightened emotions or triggers during big sporting events? How did it make you feel and how did you cope with those emotions?
2. Reflect on any instances where you or someone you know may have witnessed or experienced domestic abuse or aggression during a sporting event. How did it impact you and those involved?
3. Consider your personal experiences with alcohol consumption during sports-related gatherings. How did it affect your behaviour or the behaviour of those around you?
4. In what ways have you observed the influence of sports culture on gender dynamics and aggression, both on and off the field?
5. Have you noticed any patterns or correlations between specific sports events and an increase in reported domestic abuse? How does this relate to your own experiences or observations?
6. Reflect on the role of alcohol and its potential impact on aggressive behaviour during sports events. Have you witnessed or experienced instances where alcohol has exacerbated emotions and actions?
These questions are designed to encourage listeners to explore their own experiences and perspectives related to the impact of big sporting events on domestic abuse and aggression.
Questions & answers 🤓
1. What is the critical issue discussed in the podcast episode "Domestic abuse and big sporting events"?
Answer: The critical issue discussed in the podcast episode is the increase in domestic abuse during big sporting events.
2. How does the Euro Cup finals relate to the topic of domestic abuse?
Answer: The emotional intensity around big sporting events, such as the Euro Cup finals, highlights the urgency of the increase in domestic abuse during these events.
3. What does Sunita Anderson discuss in the podcast episode?
Answer: Sunita Anderson discusses the alarming trends of domestic abuse during big sporting events and sheds light on this important issue.
4. What is the meaning of domestic abuse and violence according to the conversation in the podcast?
Answer: Domestic abuse and violence encompass physical, sexual, and psychological harm caused by a partner or ex-partner, including aggression, assaults, coercion, controlling behaviors, and terms like gaslighting and stonewalling.
5. Why is there a rise in domestic abuse during big sporting events as mentioned in the podcast?
Answer: Research suggests that aggression in social and leisure settings like sports exacerbates dominating moods and promotes acceptance of aggressive behavior, leading to an increase in domestic abuse during big sporting events.
6. What specific sports events have been shown to increase domestic abuse, according to the podcast episode?
Answer: Sports events such as English Premier League football, Melbourne Cup horseracing in Australia, and football tournaments like State of Origin in Australia have been shown to increase domestic abuse.
7. Are women the only ones at risk of domestic abuse during big sporting events?
Answer: No, the podcast episode highlights that men and children are also at risk of being victims of domestic abuse during big sporting events.
8. How do different sports events show varying levels of correlation to domestic abuse?
Answer: The podcast mentions that some sports events, like tennis championships, golfing tournaments, and Formula 1, show lower incidences of reports and hospital entries related to domestic abuse, while football tournaments show a higher correlation to the increase in domestic abuse.
9. Does alcohol consumption play a significant role in the increase of domestic abuse during big sporting events?
Answer: The podcast episode explains that while alcohol consumption during sporting occasions can contribute to the rise in domestic abuse, it is more about the emotional connection with the sport rather than solely alcohol being the reason for the increase.
10. How does the podcast episode address the perception that alcohol is the reason for someone being abusive?
Answer: The podcast emphasizes that alcohol is not the sole reason for someone being abusive, but it can act as a contributing factor by loosening inhibitions and giving permission to pre-existing aggressive behaviour.
Transcript 📝
NOTE: This podcast was transcribed by editing tool, Please forgive any typos or errors
Hello. Today we are diving into the critical issue, the increase in domestic abuse during big sporting events. This weekend, like many of you, I watched the Euro Cup finals. The emotions around England's loss to Spain were intense, highlighting the urgency of this topic. I recently recorded a conversation with Sunita Anderson about the alarming trends. Given the timing, I wanted to release this now while the topic is still fresh in everyone's mind. Let's explore the insights Sunita shared and shed some light on this important issue. Welcome to the secrets in the powder room, where we share stories and open up conversations about all the secrets women
Louise Bryant00:00:42 - 00:00:43
are forced to keep out
Louise Bryant00:00:43 - 00:00:55
of fear and shame. I'm Louise Bryant, professional certified coach, intuitive eating counselor, and trauma informed domestic abuse specialist and survivor. We're here to support you on your healing journey and help you feel like you're not alone.
Louise Bryant00:00:56 - 00:00:56
This is not to be
Louise Bryant00:00:56 - 00:01:05
a replacement of your own professional, medical, or legal advice. This podcast contains adult language and content. Listener discretion is advised.
Louise Bryant00:01:10 - 00:01:13
Hi, Sunita. How are you doing?
Sunita Anderson00:01:13 - 00:01:18
I'm doing really well, Louise. Thank you. Thank you for having me on here today.
Louise Bryant00:01:18 - 00:01:30
You're very, very welcome. It's lovely to have you here. I'm really excited to get into our topic that, obviously, is really important and really current as we are currently in the Euro Cup finals.
Sunita Anderson00:01:31 - 00:01:40
We are. So, I mean, that is in itself is really brilliant good news, but we, are going to be looking at the flip side of that today, aren't we?
Louise Bryant00:01:40 - 00:01:48
Absolutely. Absolutely. So before we get started, can we start maybe by covering what we mean by domestic abuse and violence?
Sunita Anderson00:01:48 - 00:02:31
Of course. Because it means so many different things to different people. So domestic violence, and more specifically, intimate partner violence, is a global issue. Some might even say it's an epidemic where the behavior of that person or even an ex partner causes physical, sexual, or psychological harm. And this includes aggression, assaults, but also coercion. So that's doing something that you might not want to choose to do, including sex. Controlling behaviors cover so many areas such as financial, mental abuse, who you phone, meet, or email. And the list is long and terms like gaslighting and stonewalling come in there commonly too.
Louise Bryant00:02:32 - 00:02:40
Absolutely. Absolutely. So can you maybe explain why there's a rise in domestic abuse in instance around big sporting events?
Sunita Anderson00:02:41 - 00:03:30
For sure. There's a lot of aggression, condoning social and leisure settings like sports, and they exacerbate males' dominating moods. And violence and sports have been linked for well over 20 years in research, particularly in team contact sports, and they promote an acceptance to behave bullish and with hostility. And many, sports coaches, they see violence as a key to being successful. So if you think about boxing games, where they're g ing up the boxer before a fight, it's all very aggressive. It's all a lot of deriding talk about the opponent. And this blurs the boundary between what is just for sport and what is personal behaviour.
Louise Bryant00:03:30 - 00:03:36
So that affecting, obviously, the person watching as well because that can have, like, a a mirrored effect. Yeah.
Sunita Anderson00:03:36 - 00:04:10
It definitely does. It normalises all of that. And it is not just the athletes. It's it is those watching. It is the audience too because they want to emulate their stars, the people they're supporting. They want to they have this connection with the person that they're supporting, and their moods heighten in line with the importance of the game or the match. And irrational passions and things like team rivalry flare them up stronger. Fans become highly charged, emotional, and volatile.
Louise Bryant00:04:12 - 00:04:16
Yeah. Yeah. And that's just without, you know, the domestic abuse. That's just generally, isn't it as well?
Sunita Anderson00:04:17 - 00:04:27
That is just generally. I mean, it is part of what people enjoy about sports, but it's back to that blurred line again of when you cross it and it goes too far.
Louise Bryant00:04:28 - 00:04:31
So is it just women that do you think that are at risk for this?
Sunita Anderson00:04:31 - 00:05:18
Sadly, no. But because sports is traditionally such a male dominated area, it it does conjure up this behavior in the sporting environments more where women are on the receiving end. But it generally the the fairest thing to say, it is where a stronger partner takes out aggression in the wrong ways with a weaker partner. There are an increasing number of men falling victim to domestic abuse reporting the crime. And then there's the children, both on the receiving end as well as witnessing. And there's trauma and behaviour issues that come off the back too. So they are also victims.
Louise Bryant00:05:18 - 00:05:24
So you mentioned the boxing. What other specific sport events have been shown to increase domestic abuse?
Sunita Anderson00:05:25 - 00:06:06
Domestic abuse increase has been seen across the board and across the world. So from English Premier League football to the Melbourne Cup horseracing in Australia. There are some sports where it's notably absent though. Some reports are even lower. Those sports include Wimbledon, tennis tennis championships across the world, golfing tournaments, and believe it or not, Formula 1. Yes. Formula 1 also is, shows lower incidences of reports and hospital entries as well. But Lancashire University did a study, and they showed that football, for some reason, there's football.
Sunita Anderson00:06:06 - 00:06:16
And it could even be Aussie Rules Football or American, NFL. There's something about football where there is absolutely a correlation to the numbers increasing.
Louise Bryant00:06:17 - 00:06:18
It's interesting, isn't it?
Louise Bryant00:06:18 - 00:06:30
Because you've got rugby, which is quite aggressive on the pitch. It doesn't seem to cause as much aggression from the the spectators. In football, it's less aggressive on the pitch, but more aggressive in the participate sorry, the, the the spectators.
Sunita Anderson00:06:31 - 00:07:02
It just goes to show, it's not so logical, is it? There's something which is still being studied now. In Australia, there's, a big tournament called State of Origin, which is rugby style event tournament. And they see every year about an average of 40.7, 40 percent increase in domestic reported cases every year, every time that they have that tournament. So the the numbers are high. It's not just that the numbers increase. The numbers are high.
Louise Bryant00:07:02 - 00:07:04
That's just the reported ones, isn't it?
Sunita Anderson00:07:05 - 00:07:07
That's the keyword, reported. Yes.
Louise Bryant00:07:07 - 00:07:56
The ones that aren't reported as well that we don't hear about that are just going on. It's interesting you said that because I was having a bit of a think about With my ex abusive relationship, he was very into football, and my current husband doesn't we don't we don't watch the football. But every time, like, last night we turned the the the football on to see the result, and just that sound coming in from the other room. So he turned it on. I was in the kitchen. But just that sound of the the the crowd just brought an automatic, that fight or flight response just came up in me, like it triggered me. Now I know I'm safe, I don't have probably enough exposure to to have dealt with that yet, because we don't watch the football, but it still has that trigger. Yet motor racing, because my dad used to watch motor racing, and if we've got a roast dinner cooking and the motor racing sound of them cars, is a real comfort to me of bringing me back to a good time in my childhood.
Louise Bryant00:07:56 - 00:08:08
So So it's interesting, isn't it, that you where you said like the, you know, the the actual statistics and the studies show how these things are increase and decrease and how they have been kind of trigger responses as well.
Sunita Anderson00:08:08 - 00:08:48
The trigger responses is quite quite a good way of saying it because it is this prickly feeling of anxiety and anxiousness that creeps up. And I think it's the anticipation. And to me, it doesn't seem to be it seems a bit nonsensical because you think watching somebody driving a car at high speed should have you literally on the edge of your seat and not sitting back relaxed and comfortably. Whereas watching some very simply people will tell me also describing it this way, watching men running around in the field, You'd imagine that surely shouldn't charge you up as much, but yet it's is the flip, isn't it?
Louise Bryant00:08:48 - 00:08:57
Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. And what about alcohol consumption during the sporting occasions? That obviously also increases with domestic abuse, isn't it?
Sunita Anderson00:08:59 - 00:09:45
Alcohol alone is not the reason. It's an easy one to point the finger to and blame. It's almost the icing on the cake when coupled with the emotions of the salient games, important games, and team rivalry. It is more about the emotional connection with the sport. But, of course, when you had increased consumption of alcohol, you are looser in your behavior, and you're you are losing conscious control of your actions as well. But all it's doing is giving way to something that has already been rising within you. Yeah. So another way to look at it is that the person has almost like a primal need to assert themselves.
Sunita Anderson00:09:46 - 00:10:15
And alcohol is just helping them along the way helping them along the way with a bit of permission. Again, there were some studies done with esports, but key, like, local sporting events where alcohol wasn't served or part of the equation. And they did notice that there were increased reports of attacks. And that's without alcohol being on the menu, as it were. So it's a partner, but it's not the reason.
Louise Bryant00:10:15 - 00:10:38
Yeah, absolutely. And I think that, you know, sometimes people, I've heard women say in my work that, you know, oh, he's only abusive when he's drinking. But it is. It's like giving them that okay to go ahead and be abusive, isn't it? It's it it isn't. And a reason why someone is abusive is because they're drinking. They're abusive. They're drinking and it makes it it switches that switch, doesn't it, of going, well, I don't care now. I've had a drink and I'm going to be abusive.
Sunita Anderson00:10:38 - 00:10:39
Sadly, it does. Yes.
Louise Bryant00:10:40 - 00:10:53
What about some of them maybe have gambling bets on a certain race or a certain team to win. And then not only are their team losing, but there's also the financial loss if they haven't won that can then make them.
Sunita Anderson00:10:54 - 00:11:36
Well, there is that. And that that also causes people's anxieties and worries to flare up. It's all the negative negative behaviours rising to the surface. But it is almost like an addiction when you are this connected to a sporting event, that it matters to you that much, whatever the outcome is. It is also part of the research findings that if you win, it doesn't mean that there isn't any violence. There is less reported cases if a team wins than if they lose or draw. But there are still there is still an increase. It's it's just the it's just the the whole event on the whole that spares it up.
Louise Bryant00:11:36 - 00:11:37
Yeah. The atmosphere, isn't it?
Sunita Anderson00:11:37 - 00:11:38
It is.
Louise Bryant00:11:38 - 00:11:58
And it's interesting that sort of look and see stuff on social media at the moment of, like, these big signs saying he's coming home. And it's that feeling. I remember that feeling too well is that it doesn't matter. They've been out drinking. They've been out with their friends. They've been all, like you say, all geared up and, you know, feisty in the pub. Whether they win or lose, they're still gonna come and have that excuse, aren't they, home to
Sunita Anderson00:11:59 - 00:12:18
Yes. And any survivor would know that feeling. I know this feeling really well, that walking on eggshells sensation, the, nervousness of listening out for the key and the lock in the door, it's not pleasant at all. And usually, sadly, it's not unfounded either.
Louise Bryant00:12:19 - 00:12:19
Yeah.
Sunita Anderson00:12:19 - 00:12:21
You've got reason to feel worried.
Louise Bryant00:12:21 - 00:12:38
Absolutely. Absolutely. And it's sometimes well, it's that hangover afterwards, isn't it? For for me, it was like the next day of having spent all their money and bought all the drink and bought all the whatever goes along with the drink, and then that hangover of hangover, no money, and that tends to sometimes be.
Sunita Anderson00:12:38 - 00:12:58
You're so right because there is an 11% lag effect. They call it the next day, the day after of, increased numbers as well. So they'll see a surge on the day or on the you know, within the first 24 hours. But then within the next 48 hours, there will be a follow on effect.
Louise Bryant00:12:59 - 00:13:05
So what does domestic violence under the influence of sports look like? Now how can we recognize it?
Sunita Anderson00:13:05 - 00:13:58
So let's remind ourselves that domestic violence is against the law. So it's not just bad behavior, it's criminal behaviour. There's no forgiveness for how this is displayed or how this comes out because it's just wrong on every count. And the raised emotions, so what it looks like is the raised emotions at this time give way to a dominating behaviour. The primal need to conquer and be king of something that no matter what the cost is, in a way, it's it's like a Neanderthal style of proving manliness physically. So everything from talking so signs would include talking aggressively to the physical punching and beating up someone is on the menu. Sexual attacks will be in there too. Often, again, unreported if within an existing relationship.
Sunita Anderson00:13:59 - 00:14:29
Some women or partners, they find it difficult to say the difference. Well, you know, we are married, we are together, we are a couple. But I think it's about digging deep to understand what is normal and what is not normal, what feels pleasant, and what is totally not your choosing. And that will help to understand the difference between what is okay behaviour and what is not.
Louise Bryant00:14:29 - 00:14:56
Yeah. I mean, it can be some sort of, like, almost pseudo behaviour as well, where they kind of go into themselves and maybe not talk to somebody. Like, there's the the the things that are outwards that you can see, but there's also that stuff that maybe you can see, but other people can't see. Like, they're you know, oh, you know, he's wound up inside. What's next? And that kind of waiting, isn't it? And him not telling them what's going on, that anger that's kind of inside. And then it's like you're treading on eggshells, waiting for it
Sunita Anderson00:14:56 - 00:15:47
to you know something's gonna happen, but it's just a case of waiting. The water's bubbling and boiling and it's just about to boil over, as it were. I think it's being tuned into those signs. Every person is different. And you've got to trust that you know who you're with and read those signs in them to know, and also know what their connection is with the game. Because just to strengthen the point, this is not a done and dusted behavior for everyone watching a game. Plenty, plenty people happily watch all sorts of sports and events without any harm or issue and completely enjoy it in a safe safe and comfortable way as as it's meant to be. But it is the few.
Sunita Anderson00:15:48 - 00:16:04
And I think if a person knows what their partner is like, a person knows how attached and how reactive they can be, they can preempt what might happen next, Yeah. Be on guard.
Louise Bryant00:16:04 - 00:16:19
Exactly. And being making sure that they're protecting yourself, that or the you know, if anyone needs to protect themselves and they know this could potentially be happening, it's about maybe setting up some sort of system that can keep you protected. I know for me, I would go to my mum's, because it would be
Sunita Anderson00:16:19 - 00:16:24
That's a really good, good way. Yes. Just remove yourself from the situation. Yeah.
Louise Bryant00:16:24 - 00:16:39
Yeah. So that you do have it wouldn't stop him sometimes and still come around to my mom's and do that, but I still had the protection of other people as opposed to being at home on my own. So this might sound a bit obvious, but what exactly are the effects of the victim when they've been abused or assaulted in these situations.
Sunita Anderson00:16:40 - 00:17:27
Like you say, there are obvious effects, especially when physically harmed. You can you can see the damage. And the damage and the pain will vary with the degree of injury. Survivors face a medley of other health consequences, including depression, heightened anxiety and nervousness, PTSD, sexual health effects, which range from damage to STDs. We mentioned children too, disrupted development and antisocial or introverted behaviors can result. And there's a link to higher child suicides from homes with domestic violence and abuse. Horrifically about in the UK certainly 5 women per week are reported to die from domestic violence related injuries. So note that word again, reported.
Sunita Anderson00:17:28 - 00:17:48
So who knows what the unknown, undeclared ones would be. So gosh, Louise, this is so very sobering, but unfortunately, all factually true. And I'm glad you asked that question because it shows the importance of us needing to know what this correlation is with sporting events and what we can do about it.
Louise Bryant00:17:49 - 00:18:10
Yeah. Yeah. And also, if you're aware of a friend or family member who might be going through domestic abuse, it's also being able to support that person. Isn't it? And know that you can maybe offer something or some sort of help or just some understanding. And or maybe just keep a watchful eye that that person you know may be going through something.
Sunita Anderson00:18:10 - 00:18:32
You're so right. Oh, you're so right again. Because this isn't all on the person who might be victim, who might be subjected to it. There's a saying that it takes a village to raise a child, but it takes to extend that further, we are our community. And you'd like to think that someone would watch over you in the same way as watching out for other people.
Louise Bryant00:18:32 - 00:18:44
Absolutely. And can you think of maybe some warning signs or patterns that loved ones can look for during these events to prevent or be there and be supportive in a domestic abusive situation.
Sunita Anderson00:18:45 - 00:19:30
Recognising it is a case of knowing what would be rational behaviour versus not. And you gave a really great example just now about taking yourself to your mum's. The key advice is not to engage as best you can and to remove yourself from a preemptive situation, if at all possible. There is safety in numbers. Of course, we've just spoken also about the lag effect. So be aware that what might not happen in the moment could still happen a little later on. So you want to allow for a simmering down period as well. I would say don't engage in a discussion about the match or the game.
Sunita Anderson00:19:30 - 00:19:35
Just let that be, especially if the results didn't go their way.
Louise Bryant00:19:35 - 00:19:43
And do you think there's any way that communities or maybe organisations could provide better support for the victims of abuse during these big major sporting
Sunita Anderson00:19:43 - 00:20:32
events. Time over, a lot of, certainly in the UK and actually in other countries too, they have tried to put together campaigns in advance to tackle this. So in 2022, the mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, he put together a big campaign called have a word have a word with your mates and about being respectful towards women. It was all domestic it wasn't so much sporting. It was more domestic violence focused. But they did heighten the campaign when it was, the World Cup at that time too. But it's since fizzled out and gone away, and it was very, very capital focused. If you weren't in and around the London area, you may not have even seen any part of that campaign.
Sunita Anderson00:20:32 - 00:21:10
In Australia, they're trying to make a national legislation around alcohol. I know we spoke that that's not the big, big perpetrator, the big responsibility, but it's a start. And they're trying to approach alcohol at sporting events in much the same way as, tobacco and let it just go dark and disassociate alcohol with sporting events, which of course will not go down well with the drinks companies who try to increase consumption through association. But then they need to take a responsibility there too.
Louise Bryant00:21:10 - 00:21:30
Absolutely. I did a podcast on a sober curious podcast, and she was talking about the only part of alcohol that's actually growing is the non alcohol part. So, you know, encouraging more of them nonalcoholic beers, you can still get that kind of feel of having a nonalcoholic beer, you know, or a nonalcoholic gin and tonic. But, yeah, it's kind of getting them on board, isn't it?
Sunita Anderson00:21:30 - 00:21:52
It is getting them on board, but it is possible because, you know, decades ago they used to be able to take their glass pints into stadiums. They've moved away to the plastics. They've moved away from that to you can't even take the plastics into the stadium. So slowly, I mean, I think it is happening right under our noses. It just needs to go another level further perhaps.
Louise Bryant00:21:54 - 00:22:03
Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. But do you think there's any roles that sports teams and the athletes could play in addressing domestic abuse maybe related to the sporting events?
Sunita Anderson00:22:03 - 00:22:54
Absolutely. Because they are the ones that the supporters look up to. And major bodies, rather than individuals, I think, are the ones who should really take ownership of this. Things like the law and tennis associate. Well, they, as we said, they don't, really give drive to domestic violence. But maybe they can help to demonstrate how they don't have domestic violence so prolific within their sporting areas. Look to them. What is it that they're doing? Why is it? Why is it some sports and not others? Can we learn from the ones where it's absent? And then the boards like FIFA and National Rugby Leagues and NFL across America, they can then look and start to implement some more responsible steps.
Sunita Anderson00:22:55 - 00:23:21
Maybe present conversations about violence and the wrong in it. I also feel it shouldn't just be at sporting times because then you're creating that link with the sporting event. I think they should try and make this a much more everyday and general awareness.
Louise Bryant00:23:22 - 00:23:33
Absolutely. And as we, in the UK, step into a new Labour government, it'll be interesting to see how they tackle domestic abuse. Is there any way that we can educate the public about the connections?
Sunita Anderson00:23:34 - 00:24:29
I think when you ask people what domestic violence is, the vast majority, if they haven't been exposed to it like you and I have, they will understand it as something that is physical, visible violence, which is only a teeny weeny subset of what domestic violence is. And I think the thing to do here is to grow the awareness of what really falls under that umbrella. What really is this criminal behavior? What and where the right and wrong is? Knowing to help them to know the difference, say, in the reverse situation. A lot of the men I speak to, they have this struggle. When is it that their wife is nagging them versus being abusive to them? And that will only come through greater awareness of where that line in the sand is.
Louise Bryant00:24:29 - 00:25:00
Absolutely. Absolutely. I think that's it. It's key, it's educating. And a lot of you know, nowadays, we as professionals are taught to say not domestic violence, but domestic abuse, because people, like you say, assume that everything that's domestic is violent and it's the bruises and it's the hits, but sometimes that coercive control and the gaslighting and all the other things that come in can be just as damaging, and almost harder for somebody to leave because they haven't been hit. They don't get that support from certain services because they're not in danger.
Sunita Anderson00:25:01 - 00:25:03
And difficult to prove.
Louise Bryant00:25:03 - 00:25:14
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. So with all of this, how can people connect with you and work with you or find out more information about what you do?
Sunita Anderson00:25:14 - 00:26:14
So I, would love people to read my current blog out, which does cover this topic on, violence within football. And my blog is available on my website. Quite simply, sunitaanderson.com, where you can also sign up for newsletters and as well as keeping up to date with anything related to domestic violence and toxic relationships in general. I include toxic relationships because, as you know, a lot of people are in denial that they are actually in a domestic violent situation, but they can recognize that the relationship they're in is toxic in some way. So I would urge people to go there to request any extra information where seen on the site to just grow their awareness. Because if not for themselves, somebody else they know around them could do with their help.
Louise Bryant00:26:15 - 00:26:35
Absolutely. Absolutely. And that's key, isn't it? If you know somebody who's going through abuse, or you suspect is going through abuse, sometimes it's just letting them know that you know and you're there and not try and get them to leave. Because leaving an abusive relationship is very hard. It's really hard.
Sunita Anderson00:26:35 - 00:26:57
It's tough and lonely, which is to your point where you need that extra support. The value of the extra support is there's no there's no measure to that. And I'm also on Instagram. So please do follow me on sunitaanderson. Live. Keep up to date with posts and comments and information there.
Louise Bryant00:26:58 - 00:27:04
Yep. And I'll put all of the links in the show notes so people can connect with you, and it will be on the blog as well.
Sunita Anderson00:27:04 - 00:27:05
Thank you so much.
Louise Bryant00:27:06 - 00:27:25
So yeah. So we will definitely come together again. Thank you so much for coming and talking about this topic. I know we've just kind of brought this together because of the current situation, and we want to give this information as quick as possible, but we will definitely be doing other podcasts in the future on different topics around domestic abuse. So I'll love to have you on here again.
Sunita Anderson00:27:25 - 00:27:27
It would be my pleasure. Thank you.
Louise Bryant00:27:27 - 00:27:30
It would be my pleasure too. So thank you.
Sunita Anderson00:27:31 - 00:27:34
Take care, keep safe, and keep well. Until soon.
Louise Bryant00:27:35 - 00:27:36
Awesome.
Louise Bryant00:27:39 - 00:28:19
Thank you for listening to this episode of Secrets in the powder room with me, Louise Brandt. I hope you found our discussion insightful as we shed some light on domestic abuse during major sporting events. Please subscribe and leave a rating as this helps others to find the podcast. And if you found this conversation valuable please be sure to check out our other episodes including our in-depth look at supporting loved ones through domestic abuse and how to spot the signs of abuse. And And don't forget you can sign up to my free 14 day self care challenge this August. It's a great way to prioritize your well-being and take those first steps towards healing. Stay safe, stay strong and remember, you're not alone. See you next time.
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