#E43 From Scales to Self-Love & Ending Body Shame

Today, Louise is taking a deep dive into the ever-changing beauty standards that have dictated how women feel about their bodies for generations.

As a certified coach and survivor, she’s unraveling the myths sold to us by the diet and beauty industries—how they profit from our insecurities and keep us chasing an impossible ideal. From historical body trends to the pressures of social media, Louise explores why we’ve been conditioned to believe our worth is tied to a number on the scale.

She shares personal stories, including the emotional rollercoaster of stepping on the "sad step" every morning, and offers insights on how to break free from body shame and reclaim your self-worth.

This is your invitation to step away from the toxic cycle and embrace your body—not as a trend, but as the strong, worthy, and beautiful vessel that carries you through life.

Tune in, be part of this empowering conversation, and join a community of women lifting each other up!
Released March 27th 2025

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Our Host 🫶🏻

Louise Bryant is a professional certified coach, intuitive eating counsellor, and a trauma-informed domestic abuse specialist as well as survivor.

Through her platform, "Secrets in the Powder Room," Louise fosters open conversations about the often-hidden struggles women face, including social anxiety and trauma.

Her expertise, drawn from personal and professional experiences, aims to guide others in healing through alternative therapies, body kindness and intuitive eating.

Passionate about breaking the silence around women's issues, Louise provides free, simple tips and profound insights to ease anxiety and promote well-being.

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Embracing Our Bodies: Beyond Trends and Taboos

Unpacking Beauty Standards and Reclaiming Self-Worth

In a world where beauty standards are as fickle as fast fashion, many women find their self-worth intrinsically tied to societal ideals of perfection. But what if we could redefine these narratives and embrace our bodies as they are, rather than constantly chasing unattainable ideals? In this compelling episode of "The Secrets in the Powder Room," host Louise Bryant unravels the intricate web of body image, societal pressures, and the journey toward self-acceptance.

The Evolution of Beauty Standards

Once upon a time, beauty was synonymous with curves and full, abundant figures—think renaissance paintings or iconic figures like Marilyn Monroe. These images celebrated femininity and strength. However, as media and Hollywood rose to prominence, the ideal shifted dramatically. We began to idolise the fragile and small, spurred on by industries that profit from making women feel less than enough. The consequences? An exhausting cycle where beauty trends change faster than the seasons, leaving women grappling with self-worth based on transient ideals.

The Power of the Diet Industry

At the core of many of these beauty shifts is the insidious diet industry, defined by making women feel forever inadequate. These industries thrive by suggesting that our happiness and relationships hinge on a Sisyphus like pursuit of an ever-changing body aesthetic. Louise Bryant vividly highlights how such pressures can impact daily life. Battling her own experiences with the 'sad step'—a term she uses for bathroom scales—she describes how weight fluctuations dictated her mood, parenting style, and overall happiness. She shares the harsh realisation that a meaningless number held so much power over her life.

Breaking Free from the Cycle

So, how can we extricate ourselves from this destructive cycle? Louise offers practical strategies for reclaiming power. First and foremost, ditching diet mentality is key. Our bodies are not problems to be solved, nor is food a reward or punishment. Then, there’s the language we use about bodies—ours and others’. Compliments on weight loss, while often well-intended, may inadvertently reinforce the notion that thinner equates to better.

Instead, Louise suggests offering compliments that focus on well-being and happiness, divorcing self-worth from size. Additionally, surrounding oneself with a supportive community can be transformative. Healing body image issues becomes more manageable when surrounded by like-minded individuals who celebrate diversity in body shapes and sizes.

Challenging the Status Quo

The relentless pursuit of the 'perfect' body is not just a personal struggle but a reflection of broader societal values. The weight loss industry funnels billions into perpetuating impossible standards, diverting attention from more significant life aspirations. When women are preoccupied with weight, they have less energy to devote to careers, relationships, and social movements.

Iconic actresses like Kate Winslet and Emma Thompson have called out these beauty expectations, advocating for a focus on talent and character over aesthetics. By examining the media we consume—from social media influencers to film characters like Bridget Jones—we can consciously choose to embrace content that uplifts and inspires rather than diminishes.

A Path to Self-Acceptance

Ultimately, our bodies are not trends. They do not need sculpting to fit current societal whims. Whether soft, thin, curvy, or muscular, each body deserves celebration for its uniqueness and the life it sustains. By reshaping our perspectives and dialogues around bodies, we begin to appreciate their resilience and capabilities.

Reflective Practice

To aid this journey, Louise provides thought-provoking journaling prompts to explore personal narratives around body image. Reflecting on past influences and envisioning positive perspectives can pave the way for a more self-accepting future.

Louise Bryant’s message is clear: our bodies are not the enemy. In supporting each other, celebrating diverse beauty, and detaching self-worth from size, women can collectively reclaim their power. Join her community, embrace your truth, and ignite your strength to become a formidable force of change.

Journaling Questions ✍🏻

Here are some journaling questions inspired by the content of the podcast episode "The Truth About Women's Bodies" with Louise Bryant. These questions are meant to help you reflect on your own experiences related to body image and beauty standards:

1. What different beauty standards have you observed throughout your life, and how have they influenced your perception of your own body?

2. Reflect on the messages about body image and beauty you received while growing up. How have these messages shaped your beliefs and self-image?

3. Consider a time when you felt most comfortable and confident in your body. What was different about that moment compared to others?

4. In what ways can you stop criticizing your body and start appreciating it for all that it does for you every day?

5. How can you cultivate a more positive and accepting view of your body, and what messages or people in your life can support this shift?

6. What steps can you take to surround yourself with people and messages that uplift and empower you rather than perpetuate negative stereotypes about body image?

Transcript 📝

NOTE: This podcast was transcribed by editing tool, Please forgive any typos or errors

Hey, ladies. We need to talk. We need to talk about our bodies and the ever changing beauty standards and the pressure to be just right, but never too much. I used to let the number on the scales decide what kind of mum I'd be that day, whether I'd be the fun and loving one or the stressed and snappy one, and I know I'm not alone there. We've been conditioned to believe that our worth is tied in our size, our shape, and whether we fit the latest ideal. But our bodies are not trends, and in this episode, we're breaking down the myths, calling out the industries profiting from our insecurities, and most importantly, talking about how we take our power back. So let's do this. Welcome to the secrets in the powder room, where we share stories and open up conversations about all the secrets women are forced to keep out of fear and shame. I'm | 00:00:00.080 - 00:00:49.475

00:00:49 - 00:01:26

I'm Louise Bryant, professional certified coach, intuitive eating counselor, and trauma informed domestic abuse specialist and survivor. We're here to support you on your healing journey and help you feel like you're not alone. This is not to be a replacement of your own professional, medical, or legal advice. This podcast contains adult language and content. Listener discretion is advised. Okay, ladies. So I just wanna start because I'm open and I share everything. While recording this podcast, I am due due on and it's a full moon. | 00:00:49.155 - 00:01:26.079

So I'm gonna try and get through this podcast without sounding too blah blah blah blah blah, but let's see how we get on. Okay. So let's just start with a little history lesson, shall we? So once upon a time, a long long time ago, curves were celebrated. So think of women like Marilyn Monroe, and the hourglass figure, and Sophie Lorenz. She's effortlessly beautiful. And the Renaissance paintings that honored full soft bodies, and but even further back, ancient goddesses were depicted as round, abundant, and powerful symbols of strength, fertility, and health. But then something shifted. The rise in Hollywood fashion and mass media turned the, quote, ideal, unquote, body into something small contained and fragile. | 00:01:26.079 - 00:02:12.655

Why? Because the smaller we are, the easier we are to control. And then just when we started getting comfortable with one beauty standard, bam, a big new one comes along, and now it's tiny waist, some big bums, and flat stomachs, and not too muscular, soft, but not too soft. Basically, an algorithm generated body that requires a full time job to maintain. But let's be honest, it's absolutely exhausting, isn't it? So the diets and beauty industries, they thrive on making us feel that we're never quite good enough. And if we constantly are chasing the next body trend, we have less energy to demand more from our lives, our careers, and our relationships, and we have less energy to fight back against the systems that profit from these insecurities. Okay. So let me just tell you this, right, your body is not a trend. Our bodies are not trends. They | 00:02:13.035 - 00:03:18.120

They are not meant to fit into whatever is in right now, but they're meant to be lived in, loved, and celebrated. And now I wanna tell you just a little story about me and the sad step, as I like to call it, you know, the bathroom scales. Back when I was dieting religiously, my, you know, my hardcore dieting days, which was pretty much most of my adult life, the first thing I did in the mornings before coffee, before cuddles with my children, before anything, would step on the scales when I was still in my little nightie. And if I had pyjamas on, I would take them off and step on the scales, and my entire mood for the day was then decided in that moment. If I'd lost weight, oh, I was super mommy. I was patient. I was loving. I was dancing and singing round the kitchen, and basically, like, Mary Poppins with oat milk and a messy bun. | 00:03:17.880 - 00:04:17.550

If I stayed the same, I was regular mum, functional, maybe a bit snappy, not too bad, you know, and just normal. The kids were relatively relatively safe, I guess. But, and here's the but, if I gained weight, oh dear Lord, I was monster mum. Short-tempered, overwhelmed, barking orders like a drill drill sergeant, spilled cereal on the floor, you know, the whole shebang. And the worst part is that I didn't even realize that this was happening until I sat down with my then coach and we unpacked it. I was actually a bad mum on the days I'd gained weight, and I was a woman so conditioned to believe that my worth was tied up in that stupid number, that it dictated how I treated myself and everyone around me. And that really is quite tragic, But also a little bit funny when you look back because imagine basing your entire mood, your entire parenting styles On how much water your body happened to be holding that day And yet, I know I'm not alone, and I know lots of others who would agree with me here and who have lived like this for and maybe are still living like this. But this is what diet culture does. | 00:04:18.330 - 00:05:41.520

It teaches us that we need to see ourselves as good or bad based on the number. It tricks us into believing that our worth, our kindness, our ability to parent, and be present and loving is somehow tied to our weight, but it's not. And it never was. And if you've ever felt like this, your whole day, your whole sense of self was ruined by the bathroom scales, just know that you're not crazy, you're not alone, and you can break free from it. So how do we actually break free from it? From this complete madness that is this feeling that we get from standing on the scales and thinking our whole worth is defined by that number. So first of all, you can start by maybe ditching diet mentality. And I know this can sound really, really scary, but your body's not the problem to be solved, and you don't need to earn food. You don't need to punish yourself for eating something, quote, unquote, bad because food isn't bad. | 00:05:41.520 - 00:06:46.400

It's just food. So you can also stop talking about other women's bodies, including your own. And even when it's just about ourselves, the way we speak about our own bodies affects not only us, but every woman around us. Also, you know, even complimenting someone's weight loss can seem like you're being kind and complimenting someone. And let me tell you another story. I lost some weight a few years ago, a couple of years ago. And I remember getting complimented by somebody. At the time, I was an intuitive eater. | 00:06:46.400 - 00:07:25.345

I was doing my intuitive eating. I just had lost a lot of weight. And I was complimented by one of the moms at the school, which she obviously thought she was paying me a compliment. Actually, it was more than one mom at the school. Two moms at the school said, wow. Look how much weight you've lost. And, you know, made me and I knew that I would gain it again because I wasn't eating normally at the time because of what was going on for me with stress and stuff. But when I knew that I would get back to my set point again eventually, so it can give me it gave me a bit of anxiety knowing that they were complimenting me for my weight, that they had paid so much attention to my heavier weight that when I've gained it again, they're obviously not gonna say, oh, wow. | 00:07:25.405 - 00:08:12.510

Look. You've gained weight again. But they're going to think it. And, you know, I kind of had a little bit of feelings around this, and I think that can happen quite a lot with people, is if they've been on a diet, a strict diet, and lost lots of weight, and everyone's complimenting how great they look, when they then have to see them people again and they've maybe gained the weight back, this can then cause a massive amount of anxiety because they know that people have got something to say about their weight. I know my family, my mother-in-law, my mum, bless them, you know, they come from a generation where this is a big thing. They will comment, oh, you've lost weight? Oh, you my mother-in-law might have said, oh, you've gained some weight, but, you know, and it does make you feel very insecure about going to see these people if you know you've gained weight. So, again, just being really careful what we say. We might think that we're complimenting someone for a temporary weight weight loss, but as soon as that weight comes back, that can be a problem. | 00:08:12.510 - 00:09:11.820

So so what if instead, yeah, we can say to someone, oh, you look well, or you look happy, or your coat's nice, or you look like you're glowing. It's a different way of saying you look good because you've lost weight. So another thing you can do is what if instead of saying, I feel fat today, because fat isn't actually a feeling, you said, I'm going to treat my body to kindness today. So that could be one way of thinking about that. So you're also surrounding yourself with women who lift you up because healing your body image is easier to do when we do it together. And it's hard when you've got lots of I know, like, lots of people, lots of my clients will say, you know, but at work, everybody's on a diet. Everyone's talking about diets. Everyone's talking about what diet they're on or what they're eating or how much weight they've lost. | 00:09:12.735 - 00:10:09.750

And sometimes it's just about not engaging with them conversations. So women have been taught to see their bodies as projects, things to fix, to shape, to shrink. But our worth has never been about our weight, our waistline, or how closely we match a trend. It is all about who we are and how we show up to the world. And it's time to start living like we truly believe that. So just on that again, diet culture was never about health. It's always been about power and profit, and the weight loss industry is worth billions built on making us feel like we're never enough because when we're constantly obsessing about our body, we have less energy to demand more from our relationships, from our careers, from our lives. And just when we think we've caught up with one body trend, boom, the goalpost has moved again. | 00:10:09.750 - 00:11:05.115

So now that we've entered an era of the perfectly sculpted body and tiny waists and muscular lifted bums and abs that pop, social media influencers even and even the fitness culture have pushed the idea that women must be curvy in just the right places while staying thin everywhere else. But let's be real. It's exhausting, isn't it? And unrealistic. And this body type isn't natural for most women. Most of us have jobs. We don't have time to be in the gym all day long. And hours in the gym, surgery, and lots of photo editing might make us look more like that. Lighting. | 00:11:05.834 - 00:11:45.524

Let let's just take I don't wanna put her down because we absolutely love her. I'm sorry. But let's take Winnie Zell Zellweger for example. Okay? So she plays one of the most loved characters ever, Bridget Jones. And yet her normal sized body was portrayed as overweight. Actually, not just overweight. Like, she had to gain weight and lose weight under really strict, unhealthy conditions for that role. And I can't be the only one that's fought this, but if she's considered big, then what does that say about me? Thankfully, you've got women like Kate Winslet and Emma Thompson that have openly challenged these beauty pressures. | 00:11:46.704 - 00:12:31.120

And Kate has spoken about how Hollywood airbrushes the life out of women. And Emma, she called out the madness of trying to fight aging to fit into the impossible standards. And, you know, I just think we all need to look at our social medias, look at who we're following, look at what trends we're following. I remember I always used to follow lots of fitness people and because I used to think it used to motivate me, but it actually just made me feel like crap. Like, it made me feel like absolute shit about myself. Sorry for swearing. And, like, I wasn't good enough. So making sure that you're following people on social media that really inspire you and are real keeping it real. | 00:12:31.404 - 00:13:14.065

There's lots of real people out there that are showing you, like, this is what a picture can look like, but this is what it I really look like. And I think I'd really admire that. Because remember, our bodies aren't trends, and they can't be molded into whatever is the right fit for whatever we're currently in. So whatever your body is, whether it's soft, big, curvy, thin, thick, whatever, you're already beautiful. And instead of constantly trying to change it, what if we focused on approaching it for what it is and what it does for us every single day? So here are some journaling questions. So grab a pen and a piece of paper or your journal. And as always, there's always some more journaling questions on the podcast blog. But I just want you to think about the different beauty standards that you've seen in your lifetime and how they've influenced the way that you see your body. | 00:13:14.065 - 00:14:11.694

And then I want you to think about what messages about bodies and beauty did you receive growing up and how have they shaped your beliefs? And what would it look like to stop criticizing your body and start celebrating it for what it does for you? When have you felt most comfortable and confident in your body? And what was different about that moment? And how can you start surrounding yourself with people and messages that support a more positive, accepting view of all bodies, including your own? So I just want you to remember that your body is not the problem. Your body is not a trend, and your body is yours, and that's more than enough and let's unlearn this together and let's take back our power. Okay my lovely listeners, if this episode spoke to you and if you're tired of feeling like you're never good enough and if you're ready to stop obsessing over your body and start truly living, I'd love for you to be part of my community. You can join the free membership and get access to the fourteen day self care course and the incredible growing group of women on this journey together. And if you want deeper support, my paid membership is just £11 a month at the time of recording this. And for this, you get free access to my Boundary Setting workshop. You get access to monthly content that I upload on the first of every month and access to group coaching sessions. And And if you're looking for something more personal, offer one to one coaching for women who are, like you, and ready to break free from the diet culture, emotional eating, and toxic beliefs that have kept them stuck. | 00:14:12.850 - 00:15:50.920

If this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear from you. You can indeed m me on Instagram at Louise Bryant coach, and let me know your thoughts. You can share this episode with a friend that needs it. And if you have a story to share, the link is in the description. No pressure. No names. Just a safe space to let it all out. Because here's the truth, your body is not the enemy, and you were never the problem. | 00:15:50.920 - 00:16:11.235

When women lift each other up instead of tearing each other down, we become unstoppable, and we are a force to be reckoned with. Thank you for listening to this episode of The Secrets in the Powder Room with me, Louise Bryant. And if you love this episode, share it with a friend, send a DM to me, and better yet, join our community, and let's do this together. Until next time, keep embracing your body, keep speaking your truth, and keep taking up the space that you deserve. Until next time, take care of yourself. | 00:16:11.420 - 00:16:38.955